Let Go
by ButterCowLuvr
Summary: Winry Rockbell knew that the moment she let go, her world turned upside down. Waiting and wishing were her two hobbies, but also her two chores. They exhausted her to a point where thinking of moving on and letting go frightened her completely.


A/n: MAJOR SAP WARNING! I've no clue what made me write this. It's currently 10 in the evening and THIS came out…Also, this is my FIRST Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction.

Disclaimers: Do not own fandom…

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"_If you love someone…let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."- Unknown_

_----------_

She never would have thought it would be _her_ standing there, waiting by the windowsill. It became her newfound hobby, but it also became her angst, her _chore_. Many daily house duties awaited her every day when she awoke in her small room, but this particular duty was the most exhausting of them all. She sat soundlessly, her bare knees feeling that slight irritating pressure as they collided with hard wood. She shivered from the cool night air as she opened a window, her nightgown not doing her justice against the wind. Hands positioned firmly on the sill, her eyes grazed over the dark green plain, searching and hoping, frustrated and lifeless.

She never would have thought it would be _her_ making that simple proclamation in her mind, blood slowly rising in her cheeks as she thanked the heavens it was nighttime and her door remained closed. She had never been the type to get lonely, really. Aside from her grandmother, her auto mail usually kept great company, the gleaming metal filling her with a pride she never knew she had whenever she tinkered away on the objects, sweat building up steadily on her brow.

But auto mail couldn't speak. It couldn't give her that reassurance she was looking for, that hope and fulfillment. She had a feeling it would never come. That day he spoke of returning was the day she began doubting he actually meant what he said. He should have been one of the first to realize that simple mistake, and her eyes gleamed over when he turned and walked away. They both didn't know what was to happen to him, or to her. She hated a little part of him from that day forward for uttering those hurtful, but beautiful words.

She never would have thought it would be _her_ cursing the thoughts as they raced continuously throughout the day. How she managed to get work done astounded her each and every day. He would return, he wouldn't return. What difference did it make anyway? Thoughts of him dying plagued her spirit in ways she never would have imagined, and on more than one occasion she had to be practically shaken awake by a troubled and concerned grandmother, frowning in annoyance and pity as she told the young girl to stop screaming in her sleep.

"Grandma?" her voice barely reached a whisper.

"What is it, child?" the elderly woman's weight added to the bed as she awaited her answer.

"I…can't let go."

A sigh sliced through the uncomfortable silence. She knew her grandmother was a rather enlightened woman, but she was scared of the answer she would receive even after uttering those four little words.

"Hmph, you're going to have to try, Winry."

And that was that.

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A few days passed after her first proclamation. She never told her grandmother, but Winry had a feeling the old woman already knew. There was no use wasting breath over something already known, right?

Soon after that, her fear took on full throttle. Aside from the nightmares she had, her concentration weakened and she got more scolding from the old woman more often than usual. She had always thought she was a little stronger than the women she had seen in movies. She remembered laughing with Ed and Al when watching a particular movie with weak and defenseless women. Back then she was glad her friends kept her stable, and told her little mind she would never in a million years fall into that dreadfully silly state of desperation.

But here she was now, making a fool of herself. Desperation was weak. Ed would be ashamed of her weakness, would he not?

_If you love someone, let them go._

Hadn't she already let go of the fact that Edward and Alphonse may never return home? Was all this waiting pointless? But did that awful desperation seep into her and drain every last thought of hope out? Of happiness or of love?

Winry Rockbell was never the type to give up without a fight. Wanting to turn desperation to hope filled her with a determination similar to Ed's. They would both be searching for something, now. But was it worth it, in the end?

_For if they return, they were always yours._

Winry always thought wishful thinking was a bad habit to get herself into. Was that the reason she was unsure whether to hope for their safe return or not? She really shouldn't doubt herself, honestly. She knew he needed her still, for the auto mail. Only the auto mail.

But that was just it! He kept returning, always returning for repairs. But it wasn't the type of return she wanted and wished for. Did that mean he would never be hers?

_If they don't, they never were._

Many days passed as she grew older and wiser, keeping the thought of doubt deep in her mind. She had to be strong; she made a promise all those years ago.

But in the end, she never would have thought it would be _her_ answering the door and almost fainting at what she saw. Or rather, _who_ was there…

Her mind pulled a blank when he smiled, or was it a smirk? She became dizzy and inwardly cursed. She really was hopeless with giving into self destruction...it wasn't something new. That doubt had turned her world upside down, and she laughed at how typical it was for Ed to defy all the countless evidence, all the pitiful glances and comforting pats on the shoulder. The return should have turned her world upside down, but how could it when it was already that way?

Her world turned right side up the minute she returned the smile and ushered him into the same yellow house, her mind still unable to comprehend how he managed to do it.

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A/N: I suck at endings, honestly. I'm sorry if it was overly clichéd and sappy. It's now 11:19 in the evening as I'm finishing this little oneshot. I'm fairly happy with this piece. It got most of my point across. What did YOU think?


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